vilaine fille

Dolce & Gabbana ads

Okay, vox populi, vox dei: In the past few days, hundreds of people have found their way to vilaine fille looking for the Azzurri in Dolce & Gabbana underwear.

Though very, very busy with pre-Pesach chametz-chucking, I wouldn’t deserve to be called vilaine fille if I failed to point you towards some good clean filth.

• I posted a cropped version of the latest Dolce & Gabbana ad, starring (clockwise from the crotch) Fabio Grosso, Massimo Oddo, and (fans pervy Mrs. Robinson self) Marco Amelia here.
• The Forza Azzurri community on LiveJournal is the mother lode of Azzurri smut, enthusiastically endorsed by vilaine fille. For the uncropped version of the ad and other Azzurri crack, follow the Dolce & Gabbana tag and knock yourself out.
• While you’re there, don’t miss blackmoonruby’s photo captions, which are a hoot.
• The video of the Azzurri singing “Azzurro” for charity (another favorite search string) is here. “Cuore azzurro,” also sung by the Smurfs, is here.
• By the way, the giovincelli are pips and all, but he is the hottest Azzurro of them all. Pota sì! (Ciao, M!)
• Praeteritio: Because I love my sister, I will not gloat one bit about i cugini di Mr. Potato Head…
• Instead, I invite you to admire les beaux yeux de Luca Toni (above). Bomber scored two goals tonight, and he has green eyes, and he’s from Modena (like Mirella Freni). Check out his recent picspam: Gayest. Photoshoots. Ever. (Well, close.)

Forza man-love—nobody does it better!
Santa Rufola, patrona nostra, proteggili sempre!

La Comedìa, the movie III

La Comedìa, the movie, has a database entry! No, really! (Haven’t I always told you that Giò is a genius?)

In the meantime, the other movie is still listed in the non-vaffà database. This troubles me.

A few production notes:

• We may have jumped the gun in casting Paolo and Francesca. I mean, if we cast them, we get to see and hear a lot of her, while he hovers in the background and never opens his mouth. So many problems resolved: Ka-ching!
• We may have been hasty in casting Beatrice, too. How could we have overlooked the most beautiful woman in the world?

 

• Don Lisander surely deserves damnation, don’t you agree? Among the falsari, the ruffiani e seduttori?

Finally, what would you say about Santa Rufola as Matelda? Consider the possibilities:

Lo sommo ben, che solo esso a sé piace,
fé l’uom buono e a bene, e questo loco
diede per arr’ a lui d’etterna pace…

I rest my case.

La Comedìa, the movie II

We have some casting updates. There’s a lively discussion going on chez la sor and in the comments of my earlier post.

• For Vergil, Bob proposes Umberto Eco. Chapeau, mon preux: A medievalist, the most public of public intellectuals—there is no other choice.
• For Ugolino, I am leaning towards Daniel Auteuil, for his blistering intensity. Then again, the current season of 24 is likely to bring skull-gnawing (what else is left?), so we may have to consider Kiefer Sutherland.
• La sor proposes Mr. Potato Head, Gerard Butler, as Ulisse. Ma sor, sono andata a controllare: È pure un bel ragazzo. Perhaps I can persuade her to accept Butler as Manfredi? “Biondo era e bello e di gentile aspetto…” (You have to ask la sor why Butler is Mr. Potato Head. Je ne pige pas, mais pas du tout.)

• I myself favor the devilish charms of Sean Bean for Ulisse. I mean, who wouldn’t follow him to the ends of the earth…

The Azzurri will undertake all nude roles (for reasons now abundantly clear), but I propose that Gennaro Gattuso also portray one of the major dottori in Paradiso—perhaps San Tommaso. No less an authority than Mina deemed Ringhio “the mentor of us all,” and this is a superb oportunity to draw on his (1) encyclopædic knowledge of Italian literature; (2) stature as a Dante expert; and (3) silken eloquence.

So, along with Luchini as Arnaut Daniel, Sean Penn as Dante (with Adrien Brody as his understudy), and Franco Zeffirelli as Brunetto Latini (l’hai azzeccata di nuovo, Bob!), we are in good shape. We have only, what, several thousand other roles to cast? (Alexander Siddig is an obvious but fine choice as ’l Saladino, no? He was bloody wonderful in Syriana. In fact, he deserves better than un ruolo da comparsa…)

More, please? How about the women? In what role will we cast the sublime Juliette Binoche?

And Depardieu!?!?

P.S. a Bob: Scusa, ma Ciacco a me sembra crudele, il pover’uomo sta male…

Senza titolo XII

67. friends from near and far who care
68. i meravigliosi regali di M (grazie, milord)
69. Knut!
70. vitamins that make me feel good
71. still more delicious new vices, sniffable right down the street
72. the Smurfs (they really are Smurfs!) and those even madder for them than I

La Comedìa, the movie

The San Francisco Chronicle reports on an anti-war rally held at my old neighborhood cinema, Oakland’s Grand Lake Theatre. (Oakland is OK-land!) One of the featured speakers was actor Sean Penn.

“Let’s make this crystal clear: We do support our troops, but not the exploitation of them and their families,” he said. “The money that’s spent on this war would be better spent on building levees in New Orleans and health care in Africa and care for our veterans. Iraq is not our toilet. It’s a country of human beings whose lives that were once oppressed by Saddam are now in Dante’s Inferno.”

Okay, stylistically he has his problems, but his analysis seems largely accurate to me.

What really interests me, though, is the Dante reference. A favorite topic of discussion among my fellow italianisti and me: Who would you cast in the film version of Dante’s Comedìa? The choice for Dante always seemed obvious: None other than Mr. Sean Penn.

 

Let’s face it, mes poules: To portray a Florentine you need a punkish edge, and who has that more than Madonna’s ex? Mr. Penn has the requisite luridùme, too—plus, of course, the chin and the nose.

Other casting ideas? I insist on Fabrice Luchini—the cinematic love of my life—as Arnaut Daniel.

Zizou could make a splash as an iracondo or a violento contro il prossimo. Perhaps Filippo Argenti: “Uomo grande e nerboruto, e… iracundo e bizzarro più che altro.”

Do we agree that Paradiso must be sung through? If so, obviously we must use Verdi’s setting of San Bernardo’s prayer in Canto XXXIII, obviously in the peerless recording led by Riccardo “Riccardone” Muti.

It’s late, and I’m having difficulty coming up with other casting. I mean, at this hour, Cate Blanchett as Beatrice sounds like a good idea, but that leads inevitably to Viggo Mortensen as Paolo Malatesta, Liv Tyler as Francesca da Rimini, and the rosa dei beati as a dumb-ass video game à la the Battle of the Pelennor Fields in the cinematic version of The Return of the King (in my view, a honking pile of junk, by far the weakest of the three LOTR films). Obviously, that won’t do.

(Note to self: The sodomiti run around nude. Consider casting Azzurri, for reasons of aesthetics and verisimilitude.)

No clue about Vergil. My choice was Sir Alec, who is no longer with us. I adore Sir Ian, but I think he’s all wrong for the role.

Alas, why is it that reality always promises to be worse than one’s direst fancies? Make it go away!!

Pensée du dimanche 25 mars

Venuta la sera, mi ritorno in casa, et entro nel mio scrittoio; et in su l’uscio mi spoglio di quella veste cotidiana, piena di fango et di loto, et mi metto panni reali et curiali; et rivestito condecentemente entro nelle antique corti degli antiqui huomini, dove, da loro ricevuto morevolmente, mi pasco di quel cibo che solum è mio, et che io nacqui per lui; dove io non mi vergogno parlare con loro, et domandarli della ragione delle loro actioni; et quelli per loro humanità mi rispondono; et non sento per quattro hore di tempo alcuna noia, sdimenticho ogni affanno, non temo la povertà, non mi sbigottiscie la morte: tucto mi trasferisco in loro.
—Brother Niccolò, 1513 letter

On the coming of evening, I return to my house and enter my study; and at the door I take off the day's clothing, covered with mud and dust, and put on garments regal and courtly; and reclothed appropriately, I enter the ancient courts of ancient men, where, received by them with affection, I feed on that food which only is mine and which I was born for, where I am not ashamed to speak with them and to ask them the reason for their actions; and they in their kindness answer me; and for four hours of time I do not feel boredom, I forget every trouble, I do not dread poverty, I am not frightened by death; entirely I give myself over to them.

Filianoti as Werther

Die Eleganz des jungen Werthers, ossia:
Don Peppino be stylin’, yo!
(P.S. Grazie, sor!)

So, the Werther run in Rome is over, and I couldn’t go. (You see, this is why I have to learn piemontèis, so that I can spew parolasse [we have some shockingly foul ones] and you’ll think I’m being all learnèd and delightful.) Operaclick was there, though. You can read the full review (mit pix) here; following is my translation of the Peppino-bits:

The young tenor showed that he possesses an exquisitely lyric timbre, rich in harmonics. From his entrance aria and, in particular, the euphoric surge of “O nature pleine de grâce,” one notes the warmth, the sun-drenched quality of a voice that easily fills the theatre. Blessed with a sound technique and a voice even in all its registers, of beautiful color, [Filianoti] proved above all a great interpreter, brandishing mezzevoci and half-tints and bestowing intense emotions upon us [listeners]. He sang the famous aria “Pourquoi me réveiller?” with the utmost conviction and strong, sure high notes, winning a genuine ovation from the house. The tenor displayed the height of his interpretive prowess in the opera’s finale, where even apparently secondary phrases… were artfully wrought. Werther’s last words—"Là-bas, au fond du cimitière…"—were whispered on a thread of voice to his beloved…. It must be emphasized, as well, that the young tenor clearly has all the resources for an impassioned portrayal and, undeniably, a physique du rôle that allows him to immerse himself fully in the part. [His was] a full-blooded, virile Werther, who rebels and never surrenders to the harsh fate that prevents his beloved Charlotte from giving in to love before the [opera’s] sad, fatal epilogue.

I have a clip from Don Peppino’s first Werther run, in Las Palmas, and his intensity and long-breathed phrasing are intoxicating.

P.S. May I remind you that I told you to look out for Don Peppino months before he made his Met début? Thank you.

P.P.S. Update: O prodi miei, you can download Don Peppino’s “Lamento” from the Carnegie Arlesiana and the bis here.

Senza titolo XI

61. the only mode of transport better than hippogryph (and foot)
62. previously-unknown-to-me Dalida (m*rde, il va falloir que j’achète les coffrets Barclay et Orlando)
63. segnalazioni casuali ma di gran valore (grazie anche di questo, G)
64. blissful, pick-up-where-you-left-off friendships (thank you, C and R)
65. Fanciulla!
66. the blessed reprieve from the stinking hot weather, balsam for us hard-core psychrophiles

Pensée du dimanche 18 mars

Il faut être toujours ivre. Tout est là : c’est l’unique question. Pour ne pas sentir l’horrible fardeau du Temps qui brise vos épaules et vous penche vers la terre, il faut vous enivrer sans trêve.

Mais de quoi? De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise. Mais enivrez-vous.

Et si quelquefois, sur les marches d’un palais, sur l’herbe verte d’un fossé, dans la solitude morne de votre chambre, vous vous réveillez, l’ivresse déjà diminuée ou disparue, demandez au vent, à la vague, à l’étoile, à l’oiseau, à l’horloge, à tout ce qui fuit, à tout ce qui gémit, à tout ce qui roule, à tout ce qui chante, à tout ce qui parle, demandez quelle heure il est; et le vent, la vague, l’étoile, l’oiseau, l’horloge, vous répondront : “Il est l’heure de s’enivrer! Pour n’être pas les esclaves martyrisés du Temps, enivrez-vous; enivrez-vous sans cesse ! De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise.”
—Brother Chuck

New Dolce & Gabbana ad

I cropped out the non-Campioni del Mondo, of course. P.S. Fabio Grosso, who knew?

P.P.S. Quoth Siorella K: It be the sizzle AND the steak.

Update: More on the Azzurri in underwear here.